Attending Disney Social Media Moms Celebration literally changed my life this year. Aboard the Disney Wonder, I sat listening to Ginger Zee, from Good Morning America, telling her story of fulfilling her life dreams and goals. She mentioned how pursuing what she loved also gave a perspective of strength to her children. I sat there thinking about so many different things in my life where I was not pursuing what I love. The thoughts had already been running through my head before the event, however; I was now taking the leap of faith for myself.
When I was laid off in 2011, while expecting our daughter and first child, I went literally into a depression. I had worked my entire young adult and adult life. I never went without a job since I was 15 years old. Now, I was laying on the bathroom floor sobbing as my world crumbled around me.
I eventually gave birth to our daughter with no insurance, no hope. My husband had also been laid off from his construction job as the company dissolved. Times were incredibly tough. We were not people who lived like this. We had always done well. Now we were struggling.
Thankfully, my husband and I worked together to find him the job he is in now. One he loves and excels in. I am very proud of him. I have been building my business in what I love to do in my blog and my YouTube channel. Having always feared the unknown, I decided to begin studying toward a Bachelors in Business Management in 2013.
At first, I loved the degree. I was excited to have this firm net to fall back on; should blogging not work out well. I was going to get back in the lead, build an empire and make great money. Back in the game.
In 2015, that race began to become a slow crawl …
I had been working in the digital publishing industry since 2012. When I began my degree, I had only been in a year into my business. By 2015, I realized just how much I loved writing, reporting, media. Still, I trudged on in my Business Management degree thinking that I always needed that safety net.
I easily found myself forgetting to study, not really having any passion to continue and downright HATING it. I was frustrated with my time consumption of trying to juggle work, kids, home, being a wife, care taking for family … I was flat out burnt out.
Going back to sitting in the room as Ginger Zee spoke, I realized quickly I was living a double life that was causing me to snap at my family. I was pulling along this weight of something I didn’t want to do. I honestly put the blame on my family because I thought that I had to do this for them. Not a great thing to admit. I wasn’t thinking at all about myself, what I needed.
I think as moms, we often forget that. We forget what we need in order to be happy and to be fulfilled. Have you ever noticed that when you’re frustrated with finances, work or your spouse that you tend to release that tension on others? There is something to be said when we don’t follow our desires. They are placed on our hearts for a reason. A great being wants us to be happy. When we are happy and where we are intended to be, finances, work and relationships all come together.
Why was I studying toward a degree that I didn’t want anymore? My mom said it best. “It is okay to start out loving something, but not liking it as you finish.” That resonated with me.
When I got home from Disney Social Media Moms Celebration, I quickly set an appointment with my Business Management degree adviser. Heart pounding, I explained to him that I just wasn’t happy anymore. He actually agreed with me on my decision to move on. He encouraged me to change and change now. That day, I dropped out of my Business Management degree. Talk about a quick change.
Even with dropping out, I had never decided to quit. Just a change. I immediately called SNHU and set up an appointment the following day to discuss enrolling for my BA in Communications. I realized that what I do now is what I LOVE to do. Funny enough, I have always loved Communications, but always had that “get a grip and get a ‘real’ job” thought in the back of my mind. That’s where a quote I love comes in:
“There will be people that will say you can’t make a living out of something you love to do. But are you really living by not doing it?”
― Olan Rogers
I wasn’t living! I was simply going along with what “other people” were saying I needed to do. What I thought I needed to give my family (money) is not what I needed to give them. I NEED to give them my happiness, my joy. I need to give my kids the value of doing what you love and going for every single passion and desire you might ever have. To understand that there will be hurdles, but take the leap of faith. You never know how far you will go without taking the first step.
Most of all, I’m happier now for myself. I can think straight. Something I haven’t done in years. I’m pursing a passion I enjoy and living it all in the same moment. Will I continue to blog for the rest of my career? I’m not sure. I do know that with my BA in Communications I will be doing something in this field that I love. Best part is that I’ll love every minute of it, and my family will love every minute of the happier me. Don’t be afraid in taking the leap of faith for myself. You never know what a moment like listening to Ginger Zee, from Good Morning America, will do.
“What you love to do shouldn’t be defined by money, fame, or worldly desires you acquire, but by how much fun it is to be doing something you love.”
― Olan Rogers